Thursday, 24 December 2009

ITS HARD TO BE A PERFECTIONIST

I have tried to stay detached from people
Remain alone,
A lonely island.

I strive hard to reach perfection.
Many people dont know about this side of me.
What i start, i finish.
And it must be PERFECT.

A little error will not throw me of track,
Because i plan ahead...well, sometimes!.

A slight rebuke, can make me shed tears.
Overdoing it wont move me.

An emotional person, I am.
Vulnerable, i might be.
I DON'T let people know.
I dont let people close.
So they dont get to know the me under the tough-looking exterior.

The me strives for perfection...
But a laid back attitude trips me.

Its hard to be a perfectionist when you feel everything,
and take most things personal...

But I also have a problem, no, a challenge.
I have a laid back attitude!
And in my experience, (LOL!), it doesn't go too well with perfection, sometimes.

Well, before you all start to get the wrong picture,
My perfection doesnt include the way I dress....now that would have been weird!
Its more attuned to the artistic side,
My music, my art, my writing,
Anything creative.
I think God is the greatest artist ever.
Doubting? Take a look...
The perfect symmetry of the leaves...
The kaleidoscope of colors...
The undulating landscape...
The breath taking beauty of Sunrise and Sunset.....
YOU.

But now,
I have learnt not to be a perfectionist, no one can be perfect.
I just have to be an achiever.
Because no matter how perfect whatever I do is,
It doesn't matter if it doesn't fulfill its purpose.

Art is beautiful,
Even if its has flaws.
Even the Monalisa...

So i have decided to be an achiever.I want to be known(?) as someone who achieved something even though not perfect, But in His Eyes.....It doesn't matter...
What counts is my attitude and my heart.
And Him working through me,
To reach out to people with my (HE) Art.

Sunday, 25 October 2009

Bitter_Sweet....Tales of the Beginnings..(2)

and so my hair has reduced in height...

I have nutured and watered her roots for 3 years...
saw her through her growing and trying times...
shared her pain, ridicule and insults...
Shared her joy when she touched my shoulders...

shared her sorrow when i cut her back to the neck region.....
shared her torment when she was under the bondage of braids and weaves...
shared her fear for a bleak future of being subjected to black 'crack'...
Then i said no to crack.....
i want to stay clean......

so the crack touched my hair for the last time in April, 2009....
Oh the bliss!
The joy!
the sheer happiness of being free to explore the diverse possibilities she offered!!!

Then i had to go through "cold turkey"
Withdrawal symptoms.....
She wanted the crack so bad it hurt...

Anytime the toothed enemy comes near, she screams....
Her agony swallowed by the faceless foe.....

Then she was subjected to bongage...
at least she wasnt tortured anymore.....

Then i decided to cut off the "cracked and doped" ends.....
have her clean, fresh "crack-free"
Then she was cut...
on all sides....

This time she didnt cry...
didnt scream....
This time she was bursting....
full of joy...

All the fruitless parts of her were cut.....
for the new and fruitfull ones to come...
and this marks the end of her 3 year journey...

We have come so far...
Been through a lot...
But the door of the future opens up to countless possibilities..
And diverse opportunity...
So we take the bold step to the future..
Together.

Bitter_Sweet....Tales of the Beginnings..

When we were born...
She was in twists...
tight twists...
she was in locs...
in dreads......

and she was beautiful....
she was called dreadlocs....
She grew as i grew becoming longer and more beautiful...

she wasnt like most locs.....
she started from the middle...
So she looked so cute...
and every one oohed and aahed...

She became longer still......
reaching down my back.....
gravity beckoning to her.....
she heeded its call and moved closer to it...

By the time I was 3, she was at my waist.....
then black out.....
Then when i come to.....
she was gone......

She came back again...
but she wasnt allowed to loc.....
she was subjected to the toothed monster....
to keep her curls from tangling.....

She grew....
against all oppositions....
she was well past my shoulder...
at the age of 10....
I had my first "crack"

OH!.
her screams of pain echoing in my head....
she was stretched past her norm...
The agony burning through her....
Flowing through every 'vein" she had..
Her anguish etched on me...

Then she was quiet....
exhausted from the effects of the crack....

Then she looked at herself.....
She was longer!
She was past my shoulder blades...

she was estatic!!
then she looked up.......
saw a monstrous pair of metal come down on her.....
Cutting her back to my shoulders.....
Thats when she realized i had sold her lenght for a Drink.....Fanta...

We were at peace...
enjoying the way she felt...
all silky and nice....
the way she made a cute pony tail on me....

But that all ended that night....
The night my sister came in with a Mick Tyson cut....
she despaired because she knew what i was thinking.....
and sure enough...
i was sitting on a chair that weekend.....

And i had her cut.....
this time she didnt scream...
or howl her pain into my hair....
she bore it in silence.....
every week after that...

In Silience.......
For 4 years, she was silent.
.......................................................................................................

Wednesday, 7 October 2009

The simple art of thinking

The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without, the more significant and the higher in inspiration his life will be


Horace Bushnell

This little statements hold a lot depending on how we look at this simple statement.
Two people could look at this and get different meaning to this.
This my own review of this statement;
We'll look at this by breaking it down:

  1. The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without

  2. the more significant

  3. and the higher in inspiration his life will be


  4. 1) Difficulties encountered...without
    This is the difficulties everyone can see, the battle you are fighting with the whole world and it's siblings there to watch.
    I like to call it the physical battle.
    The difficulties encountered without have a magnitude which is stupendous.
    It can come in any form,
    its not a respecter of size or shapes...
    It can weaken, demean....render anyone who falls into its clutches useless...

    The second is the worst kind
    1b)Difficulties encountered ....within
    This is by far man's greatest opponent...
    The mind can make or unmake a person....
    To be destroyed inside out is the worst torture any one can face...
    its like being eaten out by worms that have claws, fangs and venom in their arsenal..
    It makes one delusional,
    Breaks one down mentally, emotionally.....
    Person loses all hope....
    Becomes unstable....like chaff..
    can be blown away anytime with just a breath
    The pain is staggering, mind blowing...
    it becomes painful to draw the next breath knowing you have to continue the seemingly endless battle of wills......

    the second part of that statement...
    2)The more significant....
    .....our greatest glory is not in falling but in rising when we fall
    The battle faced only becomes significant if you can rise up, pick yourself from the ground
    brush the dust off your clothes...
    square your shoulders and look ahead.....
    Forgetting past failure, trouble and disasters.......
    Thinking of it as a test.......
    all precious stones undergo purifying at one point in time...they go through fire....and they come out pure...
    not a hint of their past form on them...
    Everyone overlooks their past because of their present beauty and worth which overshadows their beginnings...
    Applying that to life will make it more significant...more worthwhile...
    You had to undergo all that so as to become significant, important, someone everyone wants to associate with......
    You look over your shoulders and be grateful for your humble though painful beginnings as you have come out of your shell....
    .....a phoenix born from the ashes......

    3)and the higher in inspiration his life will be..
    If you would create something,
    you must be something.
    Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

    The above statement is self explanatory...
    another way of looking at it is saying...
    you cannot give out what you dont have
    So you have something to share to the world...dish it out.
    You have become an inspiration to people, they want to know how you did it.....
    You have become a beacon set high for everyone to see and appreciate.....
    You have re-kindled the fire in others....

    Oh, remember, all this is worthless if you don't have a pillar of support, the rock of ages who never dishes out what we can handle, the One who care about every detail of our life..y'all know who...Jesus Christ...


    Life becomes a dull monotone and soon degrades if we didnt have the Lily of the Valley we owe it too...
    we owe the very air that we breath to him...Give Him praise today...
    Give thanks not because of what he has done but for who he is.....

    back to the top
    To end this, i have a few things to drop;
    the power of imagination makes us infinite
    John Muir

    EXPAND YOUR HORIZON!!


    .........your mind aint a limiting factor, you are..once you can get rid of that road block(you), you can be anything....(of course if its reasonable and its within the accordance of our Lord) sure!!!!!!!

He who has imagination without learning, has wings and no feet.

Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
Louisa May Alcott

This is one of my favorite thing to do...I like to analyse things....
I like that quote from Louisa May Alcott. It is really deep, depending on your personal Snell's law of refraction..that is your own perspective.
Looking at this from my angle.....
1) Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspiration.......
This simple statement holds a lot in it.
The first thing i notice is he has got aspiration. He desires to get somewhere, to be somebody.
His aspirations are in categories too, he has got HIGHEST aspiration.
Far away into the sunshine.. The only place i can think of as far away into the sunshine is to the Sun itself.
Thats to say his aspiration is as high and far as the sun.
He has set up a standard a certain level for himself..
I also like this quote "When you reach for the stars, you may not get one, but you won't come up with a hand full of mud, either." -- Leo Burnett"
This is one statement I so agree with. He reaches for the stars which are well above the ground, he might not get the star but he wouldn't be kissing muck either!
It relates to the original statement too.
2)I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them,
He admitted here that his aspiration may also be too far-fetched. Logically, how do you get close to the sun without melting?!
But in spite of that, he looks up, gazes, see, appreciate their beauty.
His aspiration is visible, tangible...beautiful, worthy of recognition, palatable.
His aspiration is not something that will fade with time because he has placed them above all things, well most things!.
And he believes in them.
Seeing is believing, he sees his aspiration, his desire, his wants, his aim, his direction, his dream, goal...believe me, there are many words to use in place of aspiration.
He believes in them, thats gonna make him have a hell of willpower...."willpower is a strong this, difficult to master, but when you master it, you are the master of all".....(copyrighted!)

3)....and try to follow where they lead.
This is the most important part,(at least to me!)
Whats the use of having a dream, believing in it....but can't follow it? Can't go all the way with it? Can't reach into the deepest abyss for it? Can't shock it into reality?
There is no use of having a believable, achievable dream if you cannot follow them to where they lead.
Your persistence is your measure of faith in yourself. Author Unknown.
Things may not be turning out so well for you but PERSIST and PERSEVERE! The great Men of today did not sit down and stare at the walls and hoping that the the next fly that comes in will provide and answer..NO!
They worked for it, persevered, sweat dripping from their brows....
Though things looked bleak, they hung unto their aspirations and beating all odds, they made it to the top.
Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.
Robert Collier

The greatest results in life are usually attained by simple means and the exercise of ordinary qualities. These may for the most part be summed in these two: common-sense and perseverance.
Owen Feltham



    To end this, i have a few things to drop;
    the power of imagination makes us infinite
    John Muir

    EXPAND YOUR HORIZON!!


    .........your mind aint a limiting factor, you are..once you can get rid of that road block(you), you can be anything....(of course if its reasonable and its within the accordance of our Lord) sure!!!!!!!

Monday, 3 August 2009

Teenage years...

There comes a time in life-especially teenagers-when we feel we know better than the adults.
we feel that we are wiser than our fellow mates, am a teenager so i should know, lol!!
We also believe that the world revolves around us, for example, we send a fan mail to a super hot star like Trey Songz, we expect him to reply us, pay us full attention...then we get mad if he doesnt we say stuffs.....typical teenager!!
We so much put our trust in other people without trusting in ourself. We believe so much in other people in other without having an ounce of believe in ourself....we forget that no one can do this believing for us, its what only we can do, believe in ourself.
Hey, I know what you are thinking.....who is this?? well I know this stuff because i went through them. Notice the use of the past tense 'WENT', I Learned quite early enough that stuffs like this only slow you down in your pursuit in life..
I see teenage years as a make or break stage......I mean the foundation we lay down as teenagers can either make us or break us.
There are many mistakes we make as young adults which may reflect in future which may be bleak or bright, depending on how this precious time we have now is used.
I would continue this later, and I will discuss how we can become better teenagers.
And to answer the question which has been nagging at you, no am not 18....yet!!
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